You do too much

On fashion

November 19, 2009 · 7 Comments

Bin bags and pillowcases are very 'now'

Some fashion, earlier. Apparently red bin bags and pillowcases are very 'now'

My name is Kat and I am not fashionable, trendy, chic or even particularly well-dressed.  There -  I’ve admitted it. Perhaps I am on the first step to healing.

At the best of times, I look like the girl who’s trying too hard at the school disco and has overdone it. At worst, I look like I’m just been airlifted in from a jumble sale.

As any woman does, I blame my mother. When taking me clothes shopping as a young’un, we shunned the delights of Etam and TopShop (“Too tarty, and their clothes are tatty”) for M&S, BHS, and the local church bazaar. When you grow up in the home counties, you do get a better quality of castoff…

Brand names were out (“I’m not paying ten pounds extra for a label!”) as were pointy shoes.  No bad thing, as I am “blessed” with square feet, to add to my woes.

I am also to blame, vowing to only wear black for at least 8 years, and (once I did move in to colour) going too far and ending up in tie-dye.  My favourite trousers as a student were red tie-died baggy pants, which came in handy when I had a nasty bike accident and cut my knee open (the first time around). After a quick wash, nobody could tell they’d been covered in blood.

My main problem, when it comes to fashion, is that I am a difficult shape. Think if Jessica Rabbit, then squish that image down vertically by about three feet and remove the bunny ears.  According to Gok Wan’s questionnaire I am an “hourglass honey“. According to everyone else, I am a stumpy shortarse with big boobs and a big bum, albeit with a good semblance of a waist in between.

Diversion – one of my favourite jokes goes thus: Why is it called a waist? ‘Cos you could fit an extra pair of boobs in there.

Even when I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, the basic floorplan was still the same. So I am a bit stumped when it comes to buying fashionable clothes from fashionable shops. They all seem to be made for women who are a good couple of feet taller than I am, who were designed on the day God lost his protractor.

For example, I have seen some lovely winter coats in the shops – I think they are called ‘cocoon coats’, with a bulging cut and a cosy neck. I tried one on, and looked exactly like a human Weeble. Whoever these clothes are made for, it is not me.

My friend Emily is always bemoaning my lack of fashion sense, to the point where she has pretended not to know me when we’ve been out together.  But I have tried! I take fashion tips from popular culture, and have been looking to the TV for inspiration.  Unfortunately, it seems that I am subconsciously channelling The Wombles rather than Gossip Girl.

Of course I have a few tricks that enable me to look at least vaguely presentable at important meetings, TV appearances and gigs. V-front dresses are a must for the boobily-enhanced lady. Although I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realise I can wear vest tops underneath, to avoid taking people’s eyes out.

I have also weaned myself from wearing black all the time – now I have at least one or two days a week off. My big discovery here was the colour brown – it’s like black for women in their thirties!

But herein lies another of my problems. I have no idea how to put together an outfit. I often get to work to discover that I’m wearing brown trousers, with a brown top and brown sweater, resembling nothing so much as a humanoid poo.

I clearly need help.

→ 7 CommentsCategories: Comedy · Writing

Phonovault – Musical miscellany

November 18, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Phonovault

Phonovault - purveyors of most excellent music

A lovely find, this one – Phonovault provide “an online bazaar of the bizarre, a veritable treasure trove of all things unusual, intriguing, dark, and downright absurd.”

They’ve got an amazing selection of eclectic music, ranging from (and I quote) “Steampunk, Dieselpunk, Gypsy/klezmer music, Victoriana, folk, blues, burlesque, dark cabaret, gothic Americana, darkwave, Neo-Vaudeville” and the fantastically named “death country.”

You can hear some of it on their little radio player (including a track from Sunday Driver, woo yay!).

I urge you to go and have a look round – you can download songs, or buy CDs, and even vinyl, should you so wish to play it on your gramophone.

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Listening · Music

8 and a half songs about love – lil’ sister’s show grows up

November 17, 2009 · Leave a Comment

A real show, with a poster and everything!

Regular reader(s) may remember a post from July, when my little sister Helen Arney came to perform the preview of her Edinburgh musical comedy show, 81/2 songs about love (and other myths) in our living room.  Although it was great fun, it was clear that the show needed some work.

So after a successful run up in bonny Scotland – during which the rest of the show got written -  she’s been doing a few renditions of the finished masterpiece back in London (as advertised in London Lite!).

We went to see her on the 4th November at the Etcetera Theatre in Camden, and as it was her birthday I took a massive consignment of chocolate cupcakes for the audience. NOM!

The weeks in Edinburgh clearly paid off, as the finished show bore only a passing resemblance to the fragments of ideas performed in my lounge back in the summer. Helen has mysteriously morphed into an extremely professional (and funny!) performer, and it was  fantastic night. Dammit I’m proud of her – and a more than a wee bit envious…

Her songs are whimsical, sweet and very funny – I especially like the one about the disastrous date, and the Countdown song. And some of them evoke real emotion – her song about a couple who’ve been together for years brought a little lump to my throat (and a slight sense of unease that it may have been written about our parents…).

Helen at the keys - comedy musicky whimsy

At the end of the show she gave out CDs of the songs – strictly limited edition, 0f course. I’m saving mine for the inevitable tabloid bidding war…  In case you want to see what all the fuss is about (and I recommend that you do), she’s got some videos up on YouTube.

Nice work, H, very nice work. :)

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Comedy · Music

Qype interview: fifteen NaNo minutes of fame

November 16, 2009 · 2 Comments

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"Anyone can be a writer if you set the bar low enough"From '101 Reasons to stop Writing'

I’ve just been interviewed by fabulous fellow polymath Laura Kidd (aka Warriorgrrl) for Qype, banging on about NaNoWriMo. You can read it here, and here’s a quick teaser:

QYPE: Do you have any plans for your novel after the month has ended?

Kat Arney: I’m hoping it will run to a bit more than 50,000 words, making it a proper length. I’ll then do a thorough edit. Then I will meet the agent of my dreams and get a massive book deal. First, though, I hope to find some people to critically read it – meaning nobody I’m related to by blood or sharing bodily fluids with. Baby steps.

So far I’m just over halfway through (yessss! *punches air*) and things have taken a rather rock and roll turn, with people doing loads of coke at a boring awards ceremony and shagging in the toilets. Ace :)

→ 2 CommentsCategories: Writing

Happy Birthday Joel!

November 16, 2009 · 1 Comment

Joel, guitar – and sitar- hero from Sunday Driver turned thirty at the end of October. We’re turning the upcoming gig at Cafe de Paris (Friday 13th November – be there!) into a sort of birthday party for him. ‘Cos we’re nice like that.

I decided to try out a new technique on this cake – brush embroidery. That’s the two elephants on the top of the cake. The one is the middle is just made of sugarpaste, to hide an unfortunate dent in the top.  I was a bit rushed for time and I’m avoiding writing my infamous NaNoWriMo novel, so it’s not as neat as it could be. And in retrospect I don’t think I should have done the freehand flowers – brush embroidery ones would have fitted better.

But I still think it’s pretty cute:

Happy birthday Joel! NOM NOM NOM

→ 1 CommentCategories: Cakes etc

Does this make us cool?

November 13, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Tonight’s Sunday Driver gig at the Cafe de Paris is featured in Le Cool – an awesome little e-mailout about stuff that’s going on in London.  I’ve been a subscriber for ages, and it’s so exciting to be in it, as they are – officially – the arbiters of all that is cool.

Do yourself a favour and sub up.

Sunday Driver in Le Cool

I guess this makes us officially cool, then

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Music · Sunday Driver

Nerdiest. Cookies. Ever.

November 12, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Had another go at making run-out cookies. Seriously, how cool are these?

Who watches the Watchmen's cookies?

Brilliant fun to make. I’m getting the hang of the technique a bit more now. The trick, I think, is to make sure the icing is really quite runny, and use lots of it! My piping’s still abit wonky though… Here’s a closeup:

Having the last laugh...

Having the last laugh

And here’s one that didn’t work so well:

DAMMIT

Next, a cake with elephants on for a friend’s birthday. Watch this space.

Runout cookies passim:

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Cakes etc

Pimp my band – Sunday Driver album, Facebook etc

November 10, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Sunday Driver - Straight from the 19th Century into the 21st

Sunday Driver - Straight from the 19th Century into the 21st. It looks like my head is about to fall off, Mel's pissing on my brolly, and Joel is being help up by a crane.

A new and exciting chapter has started in the story of Sunday Driver. We’ve been together for quite a few years now – longer than most marriages  -  and finally things seem to be taking off for us.

There’s lots of stuff in the pipeline – including a UK and European booking agent (Frusion – woo!) – a PR campaign in the works, headlining the Cafe de Paris on Friday 13th November (that’s THIS FRIDAY – yay!), and an upcoming feature in Steampunk Magazine.

Anyway, now seems as good a time as any to do a bit of pimping.

If you’re still on Myspace (anyone??) then hop over to our page and befriend us. We are also now on Twitter – @sundaydriveruk

Secondly, if you’re on Facebook, then we have a “Support Sunday Driver” group. It’s like our very own support group, without quite so much alcoholism.

As a special treat, people who join the group will get a sneaky mp3 of our new song “The Suitor”, recorded at Cambridge Folk Festival (little clip below). We also have a facebook fan page here, so join that too!

Link

Finally, our album In the City of Dreadful Night is available to buy from our website, and on iTunes.You can also download our recent single (Rats/Gayatri Mantra) from the website for absolutely zero pence. A veritable bargain.

Here are some of the lovely things people have said about us, the album, and the single so far:

“An act to watch for the future… ” Pathaan (BBC Asian Network) for I-DJ Magazine

Sunday Driver weave an exotic musical tapestry, where East and West cultures meet to create an album filled with drama, dark humour and yearning.bigchill.net

“Breathtakingly cool and stunningly compelling….In The City Of Dreadful Night’ is a fantastic album that’s diverse and tantalising; beautifully conceived, stunningly executed and just such an absolute joy to behold. ” – Toxic Pete

“This tune is one of those you put on when you want to forget about the world and transfer yourself to a different reality.” – London Music Directory

“Chandrika Nath is a commanding presence as band leader ….. the instrumentalists cook like a band that have taken their chemistry to another level” – Music-Zine

“The result is a remarkable album that comes across as a street festival distilled into music in a genuinely innovative way.” – Fatea

“A true musical kaleidoscope” Jim Ody – Roomthirteen.com

“This kaboom of fusion listening is most certainly worth the pennies” – Plum Woodward – The Brighton Hussy

“Unique and sophisticated. A must see.” – Jamie Turner

“….. bringing together the innocence of English folk and shimmering vibrancy of Eastern influences” – BBC online

“Leading the way in world music” – Phil Pethybridge, Hope Street Music

So there you have it. Get in there now, before fame changes us too much :)

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Music · Sunday Driver

NaNoWriMo – goodbye free time, hello RSI!

November 9, 2009 · 1 Comment

nanowrimo_2_normal

"Anyone can be a writer if you set the bar low enough"From '101 Reasons to stop Writing'

Because I clearly don’t have enough things to do, I’ve signed up for this year’s NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge. The idea is simple. You start writing a novel on the 1st of November, and aim to hit 50,000 words by the 30th.

Some people use the time to create wild, chaotic plots, experiment with alternative genres, or just write random jibberish. I’m using it as a kick in the pants to finally write the obligatory semi-autobiographical first novel that I’ve been incubating for the last year or two.  I don’t really have many aspirations for my first-born. Just that I know I need to get it out of the way before I can write anything else.

So far, I’ve reached more than 14,500 words (over a quarter of the way there!) and things are going OK.  I’m off to a “write-in” tonight in Bethnal Green to get a bit more motivation.  Mainly in the form of a lovely Canadian woman who is churning out the words at a frightening rate. Competitive? Moi?

Anyway, there might be a bit less blogging going on round here, depending on how shy I get about posting up excerpts. But for your delectation, here’s a little teaser of the first paragraph:

So this is where I’ve ended up. Sitting on the damp pavement outside a pub in the grey drizzle of a London morning, heaving great wailing gasps as the tears and snot slide down my chin. A small trail of puke dribbles down my front, hair plastered down and make-up running into greasy ravines in my crumpled face. To my left, a friendly hand passing me sheets of loo roll, torn from a grotty roll nicked from the pub toilets. On my right, a half-drunk glass of cheap white wine, gradually diluting with rainwater.

See you in December…

→ 1 CommentCategories: Writing

Sunday Driver playing at Cafe de Paris on 13th November – be there!

November 6, 2009 · 1 Comment

Sunday Driver

Sunday Driver in all our neo-Victorian glory

Sunday Driver are playing our last London gig for a while at the fabulously opulent Cafe de Paris, just off Leicester Square, on Friday 13th November (that’s next Friday!) – we’re on stage at 9pm.

After that, we’re going to concentrate on writing and recording our new material, with a few gigs in Cambridge and Oxford planned before Christmas.

Expect the usual crazy Steampunk/Bollywood antics, sugar mice, corsetry and cakes, with extra added funk from our new drummer Scott.

We’re also shooting a video on the day, and there should be plenty of Steampunks wandering round, so you’re welcome to dress up in your best neo-Victorian garb if you fancy it.

It’s free to get in before 7pm, £5 before 8pm with this flyer:

Your ticket to musical heaven...

Link to full-size version: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2709/4051923619_42dee210f7_o.jpg

See you there!

→ 1 CommentCategories: Music · Rock and roll adventures · Sunday Driver